SWAZI TIMES – Dagga man arrests himself
Yet again a classic article from Swaziland – thanks to NCIFI for sending it in:
MANZINI – An elderly man who jumped into a police van thinking they were offering him a lift was stunned when he was driven to the police station and arrested for illegal dagga possession.
Simon Vilakati of Mhlangatane believes that the dagga may have been planted…
in one of his bags during the trip because one of the bags was on the front seat with the police officers while he had the other one.
Appearing before Principal Magistrate Selby Gama, Vilakati told the court that he is still shocked at how he got behind bars.
Walking
“I was walking when I noticed the van following me, then all of a sudden the police stopped at the bus stop and two women hopped in. I was also told to hop in and I did, even though I did not know where we were going,” he said.
He revealed that the trip was destined for Mhlangatane Police Station and later the Mankayane Police Station.
Brutality
Magistrate Gama asked the man how he could jump into a police van without even asking where he was going, to which he replied he was too scared to ask fearing police brutality if he dared question their instruction.
This statement angered Magistrate Gama who warned the suspect and everyone in the courtroom against taking advantage of reports that police are accused of beating up some suspects and start making unfounded statements, hoping they will be believed.
Vilakati, who sent the court into stitches when he said he grows sweet potatoes, maize, beans and other vegetables for a living, was granted bail set at E300, which he said he would pay by tomorrow.
*************************************
Anyone that has ever been to SD will know that it is a special place with the most wonderful people and culture … It also has an extremely entertaining newspaper called the TIMES which from time to time (hee hee) publishes really classic articles reminding us urbanites that the world does not revolve around us… if you know what i mean.
Check out this article from the Times of Swaziland – Sunday edition.
Farting priest annoys others BY MUSA SIMELANE
NGABEZWENI – The king had arrived and everybody was attentively listening to the speakers when suddenly a dull but sharp sound broke the silence&an unidentified priest had just released his stomach gas just a little too loudly.
It happened after lunch yesterday at Ngabezweni Royal Residence when the church leaders had been served with free food of hard porridge and offal meat. The dull sound of farting seemed to irritate those who were within hearing range because for a few seconds there was murmuring and questions about who has done that. Hheyi ngubani lo? (Hey who was that?),other priests were heard saying. Others, including some members of the security forces were amused by the episode as they chuckled silently.
Culprit
Many heads turned to the back row, where the farting came from, but the culprit could not be spotted. Like everyone, he probably looked around and asked who did that in an irritated tone. Meanwhile, the event, that is, king meeting church leaders at the royal residence ended late in the afternoon.
