Lerato’s list of worst SA songs ever – Bored bored bored
One of Represent’s new fave readers, Lerato, is taking her life into her own hands and publishing her list of the worst SA songs ever and the cheesiest musicians ever in SA. You know how musicians take everything personally… Send in your comments! If anything, it will give you a good laugh like it did for us. You go girl! Keep on pushing that bar… let’s get out of cheesy and into v…isionary. Hi I am Lerato and this is my list of “Worst SA songs ever” It’s a work in progress and all suggestions are welcome. It’s a diverse-ish list and i’ve passed them around to a couple of friends and there is a whole-hearted concurrence about their cheeziness. “Bored In the New SA” 1. The many awareness songs – “Arrive alive”, “don’t do crime”, “eat your carrots”, “Don’t get AIDS”, “Makoya Mula” etc that our musicians are ever so ready to support. The only exception for me was that “South Africa, we love you” song in the early 90’s – it was relevant to the time 2. The “Sokkie Treffers”, “Bakgat Jol” compilations – only got one thing to say about these: MARA, WHY? 3. Umqombothi – Yvonne Chaka Chaka 4. Jabulani – PJ Powers 5. Shosholoza 6. I love you deddy – Ricardo 7. Anything by Dr Victor and the rasta rebels 8. Dear Abby – Little Sister 9. I like…. – John Ireland (this has got to be one of the weirdest songs of all time) 10. Jonnhy calls the chemist – Falling Mirror (the lead singer in a Dylan-esque voice: “Johnny calls the chemist, but the chemist doesnt come”) 11. Nkalakatha – Mandoza 12. My African Dream – Vicky Sampson 13. Several of Steve Hofmeyer’s songs 14. The Lotto song 15. You touch me hornie/honey/funky – Donne 16. Life – Semi Sane 17. Paradise road – Joy (OMG! I CANT STAND THIS SONG!!!!!!!!!!!) 18. The Click song and Pata Pata – Mirriam Makeba 19. Anything by Heinz Winkler 20. Nessun Dorma – The Afro Tenors (Not too bad on the radio, but the video is a total shocker – i hope they got a discount) 21. Be Brave – Kreesan 22. Homeless – LadySmith Black Mambazo 23. Pampiri – Schoolgirls (remember that Letoya chick and her relatives in really tight camo outfits?) 24. Anything by Arthur (Haaibo, Mnige, Don’t call me kaffr – take your pick) 25. Lollipop – Thembi Seete (WTF?) 26. Baba ka Nomsa – Mdu 27. Ndiredi – Simphiwe Dana 28. Green Green – Ringo (old song heavy with green cheese) 29. Silver lining – Anke 30. Ntofontofo – Pitchblack Afro...
Black-on-black bureaucracy (& affirmative action strippers!)
The world of Blogs in SA is growing rapidly and today we check out an entertaining article from a fellow SA blogger – TRUDI – her blog is called ‘Trudi wants her groove back’ and if u enjoy this article make sure to let her know by visiting her blog TRUDI. Bad service is one of our really painful achilles heels …in our attempts to get it together in SA – Trudi takes us downtown to Home Affairs. Black-on-black bureaucracy (& affirmative action strippers!) I visited the Home Affairs Department on Monday. Part of ‘the horrors of real life’, as Gabriel Garcia Marquýz would say. I went to the one in Harrison Street, downtown Johannesburg. I work downtown and I love the vibes, colours, and rhythms of the city. But it can get too much sometimes. I could have gone the super-organised, neurotic route but maybe I am sucker for this kind of pain. Instead of downloading the forms from the Internet, taking the right change, photocopying my ID in advance and locating an office in the northern suburbs, I just went to the office I’ve always gone to. I have bad memories of this office. I frequented it at a few years ago to correct the spelling of my name in my ID document. It had been misspelled on my birth certificate (which had been reissued when I was in primary school). The mistake was carried on to the ID document I received when I was sixteen and it irritated me: GETRUDE instead of GERTRUDE. GET RUDE! The correction was considered a name change and I queued and queued! It was a long process… change the birth certificate, get it announced in the government gazette, wait for approval…all because some idiot dropped an R. I could have lived with it, but it reminded me too much of apartheid days when the authorities spelled our names any old how. The office is in a very busy part of town, close to the taxi nerve centre, Bree Street. It is somewhat bleak and back then they didn’t even have benches for people to sit on. It was just a big, empty hall with counters. And filled with the most unhelpful officials ever; I do not exaggerate. This time I was there for something more mundane. I drove there mid-morning. It was hectic as always. I worried about parking but was saved by a sign that promised public parking. The parking lot was huge, dark, filthy and full of taxis, but it was right next to the building. I parked in a corner lot and looking down on a disused lower...
Repentant Car Hijacker Explains How it is Done
It’s amazing some of the articles that get circulated around on email – thanks to Del for this one – which is supposedly an interview with a Hijacker by the Star’s Motoring Editor Dennis Droppa. After doing a little reseach, we found the second article below by Anna Crox – we have contacted Dennis to find out if he can give us some more info on the article which was published last year Ju…ly/August in The Star. A repentant car hijacker (28) stole and hijacked cars for more than 14 years before deciding to go straight. Now he is a struggling fashion designer who presents motivational talks at schools in Orange Farm, south of Joburg, discouraging youngsters from doing crime. He spoke to Denis Droppa about the murky world of vehicle crime. Q. 1: Are most cars hijacked on order by syndicates? Answer: Yes, I would get a phone call to deliver a certain type of car by a certain deadline, and then we’d go out and search for one. If they needed it quickly, I would hijack. If I had a bit more time I’d steal a parked car, as it was safer. Q. 2: Which types of vehicles are the most popular amongst hijackers? Answer: We would get orders to steal just about anything. Double-cab bakkies, any make, were in very high demand. Also, “G-strings” (BMW 3-series), Polo’s, Mercedes and Toyotas. I’d get paid a lot more for a double-cab, around R16 000, but only about R500 to R6 000 for a car. If it was an expensive car like the “Anaconda” (BMW 7-series) I could get about 15 grand, though. Q. 3: Which cars have the lowest hijack risk? Answer: There’s no such thing. There’s a demand for all sorts of cars, old and new. If the vehicle isn’t sold then it’s stripped for spares. The only thing there isn’t really an interest in is expensive exotics. I once stole a Ferrari from a garage just for fun, drove it around for a while and then left it back at the garage. Q. 4: Do most of the cars that aren’t stripped end up beyond our borders? Answer: No, a lot stay in the country. They are given new identities, re-registered and sold here Q. 5: How effective are modern anti-theft and tracking systems? Answer: When I was stealing cars three years ago, most of them were a joke. I could break into almost any car and drive it away within minutes. Some cars were very advanced and a lot of work to steal though, like Volvos. With tracking systems, it was usually very easy to...
Represent Fashion Tips for the Boys
Laugh your head off if you must but we tell you all about it before it happens…watch this space and hang your head in shame… HI TOPS are back – remember those gross shoes from the 80’s? Well they have shrugged off their slime and come back bigger and bulkier and brighter than ever. They may look similar to Converse in this pic but they’re much fatter and bigger. These Nike …SUPREME COURTS are available at about R400 in South Africa. Or go to second hand shops in Boksburg and you’re sure to dig up a pair from the relics of 80s cool. PLEASE NOTE: On another tip – in an attempt to rid society of the Eastern Bloc BUFFALO scourge that seems to stick around and gather bad taste dust, we give you this appeal – pass it on to all that you know- Buffalo’s are just so not cool, if you know anyone with a pair of BUFFALO’s BURN the buggers. If they ever come back into decency you can buy a new pair and that will be…...
Jozi’s biggest turn on – Coke in the city.
We’ve been wondering what the strange new flashing signage is in downtown Joburg (see Hillbrow tower post) …well all has been revealed! It’s the new Coca Cola 3D 4-sided LED magnificent billboard and it’s with us for the next 5 years. We have to admit it looks AMAZING and gives Jozi that ‘NewYorkTokioLondon’ feel. Loving that! Our pic was taken while speeding by on the highw…ay – not v good – just look up at the city and you’ll see it. Or else go to this story on Joburg.org for a better pic and the full story: DOWNTOWN Joburg has a new landmark – a large, state-of-the-art electronic billboard atop the Marble Towers building. The board, erected by Coca-Cola, lights up the city skyline in vibrant colours – the famous red and white combination of the popular cold drink, as well as vivid pink, blue, green, purple and orange. Officially launched on Wednesday, 13 July, the billboard, at the corner of Pritchard and Von Weilligh streets, has been dubbed “Jozi’s biggest turn on”. The board is 44 metres by 32 metres by 12 metres in size, and the four-sided, free-standing towers soar 140 metres above the ground. “As one of the world’s largest free-standing, self-illuminated animated signs – and a first on the African continent – it’s bigger, brighter and funkier than anything we’ve seen in the country to date,” said Delia Maloney, Coca-Cola’s brand manager. The billboard is made up of 1,2 million LED (light emitting diode) tubes. It took three engineers and 15 artisans eight weeks to mount the LED tubes and test each of the 43 500 joints. “With the LED technology we are using it is so much more than just a static, two-dimensional sign with our logo and other branding elements displayed on it” Maloney said. The display of three-dimensional images will enable sponsors to communicate with the public before music concerts, sponsored football matches or on special...
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