Careful of that Passive Aggressive note
Or you may find it on the internet. Surely we’ve all been guilty of passive-aggressive behaviour in the form of a note, sms, email, letter etc but hopefully they haven’t been published on this blog “passive aggressive notes from room mates, neighbours, co-workers and strangers.” I know I’ve been guilty in the past.
I’m often amazed and then amused to read a public rant from someone that clearly indicates that they have serious issues, are extremely insecure, are not well-endowed or are extremely miserable and lonely people who only feel better about themselves by making others feel crap or making a large sweeping public statement that is actually cringing and embarrassing for the voyeurs who see it for what it is.
My mother’s wisdom of “don’t write anything down in anger for the words can not be erased” (or something along those lines) is something I have tried to stick to throughout my life (requires much inner strength at times) but particularly over the last few years when I’ve actually cared about the bad service or bad behaviour of some of the energy-draining cases I have come across.
That said, I believe there are some situations that can only be remedied with the written word and often those situations need some serious aggression… For example – a work situation where you need it on “paper” for the papertrail, a bureaucracy fighting attempt (why bother??), a protest letter etc – you just have to get it out to feel better and feel that justice will be served. As long as you’re not shooting the messenger, your letter is powerful and hard-hitting and intelligent, non-emotional and your efforts are rewarded with a response or at least some positive results, then it should feel worth it.
The sensible rule of thumb as we all should know, is that in general, humans tend to respond better to a little respect, some patience, some understanding, no personal attacks and less patronising tones. It’s amazing how many relationships are ruined through mis-communication or just not being upfront and honest and FACE TO FACE. The classic “taking out your bad mood on a friend/service provider”, “taking out your own unhappiness on someone else”, “being in a bad place and not able to separate a small mistake from a generally good person”, “not appreciating that they are just the voice of the company and it’s not their fault”, “all jobs are hectic and if I could try and see it a little from their perspective I do understand their approach a little”, “this person has been so good to me and I love them, we’re all human and I cannot lose this relationship which means a lot to me for a small error on their part”, “don’t shoot the messenger” are all very mature and idealistic approaches, but I think a little more “sleeping on it” and self analysis could make the world a lot less of a negative place.
The problem with a passive-aggressive letter/sms/email note is that either you look like the clown or the damage is often far-reaching and near impossible to reverse.
Check out the passive-aggressive blog (where we believe the term is very loosely used) for a laugh at others petty and sad behaviour. Come on guys – LET LOVE, RESPECT AND DECENCY RULE!!!
PS: The author is not at all a psycho-analyst but she hangs around a lot with some!
