STEVE HOFMEYER – the new Chuck
We got so tired of those Chuck jokes… they really were overdone. Don’t people know when to stop? But the new wave of Steve jokes did make us laugh…. Hiers a lag vir ‘n koue Donderdag. Dankie to Ang for the mail. Although they take the piss out of Steve, imagine what they could for his career. Our favourite must be: When Steve Hofmeyer goes to Pick ‘n Pay he just picks. … Screw Chuck, we have Steve! Steve Hofmeyer once slept with 10 Poppies at once. Steve Hofmeyer braai’s with his fingers. Steve Hofmeyer doesn’t support the Bulls, the Bulls support Steve Hofmeyer. Steve Hofmeyer doesn’t have a good voice, the microphone is scared of Steve Hofmeyer and makes his voice perfect. When Steve Hofmeyer stares at raw meat it turns to biltong. Bless Bridges didn’t die in a car crash. Steve Hofmeyer beat him to death with a red rose. Morkels gives Steve Hofmeyer any guarantee he wants. Steve Hofmeyer repossessed Bob Mugabe’s Farm. Not even Chuck Norris gets as many fathers day cards as Steve Hofmeyer. The “National Party” is actually a term to describe Steve Hofmeyer’s birthday celebrations… Steve Hofmeyer cannot count. He doesn’t need to. Klipdrift is actually Steve Hofmeyer’s urine. Osama Bin Laden and Steve Hofmeyer have the same amount of letters in both their names. Coincidence? Steve Hofmeyer is the only man alive to turn down Patricia Lewis. Steve Hofmeyer can get through on...
Clothes do not make me African
A true Representer Ur Highness brings up a topic that’s been runnning around quite a bit in our circles… does your style define who you are as a person? Does it mean because I choose to have a weave I am ‘shallow’ or ‘trying to be ‘white'” (that’s a whole nother topic we need to talk about…this white-bashing nonsense – watch this space). Why should I be judged and who are you to jud…ge me? Does what you wear represent your mind and opinions? Surely we should be free to wear whatever suits us without fearing that we are being ‘UnAfrican”? What do you think…? No doubt in your daily life you have run into dreadlocked black brother or sister head wrapped in turban long skirt and the Bob Marley bag,not neccessarily rastafarian but just a “REAL AFRICAN”. But really does all that give the true African sense? Does it seem that some Africans think that they are more African than the other Africans walking past coz he/she has got s-curl& cut or a sister has hair weaves and they don’t go to poetry sessions… they think Skwatta kamp is hiphop and they think Kwani Experience is a new drug? Does how you look, what interests you , who you hang with suddenly give somebody their true African sense? It just seems to me that most Africans who have ever been colonised , are just suffering with their blackness. Yes, in the past we were made to believe our skin is too dark or hair is too curly – it needs to be stretched , and now that we are enjoying the fruits of freedom we do what ever we please with ourselves. So now most of the other Africans who even after liberation still wanted to lighten their skin, strech their hair and dress in western designs are what…. hmmm…. fake (note that all aspects mentioned refer to the external appearance)? In these 21st century revolutions against the system and so forth, do you need a certain look in the revolutionists eyes to get your point taken seriously? Can you be you be considerd to have an African conscious mind if you dont look according to what they perceive to be real African (dreadlocked and all)? Trust me im not hating I am a poet, I got an afro myself and I dont know if I look strange but I manage to get a few stares, mouth gags and giggles here and there . Though I have noticed being around these circles that they manage to outcast and judge people based on how they look or the music...
More LOFTS in the Fashion District – Big ONES!
The other day a very streetwise and urban friend of mine was talking about the East end of Pritchard street, he was saying that it’s still “Mega dodgy” and “still too undeveloped for me.” Now for anyone with real city aspirations and a desire to live a city life, this is an open invitation to INVEST! The Fashion District on the East end is moving forward quickly with developers like Ae…ngus confidently at play and all the designers slowly gathering and moving their premises there. There are loads of renovations going on and with the Legal district right next door, it’s a fine address. We know it’s going to happen. We hope you have the vision to know that too. Yip, we’ve been shouting it out for the last year, everyone’s doing it and if you want to get in you better move. The more time we spend in the city we more we can confidently say “Watch this space!” You will eat your hats if you don’t. If you want SPACE and URBAN LOFT LIVING for real, you need to check out the latest in downtown Jozi loft development – the AUGUST HOUSE building in the Fashion District. 300m2 lofts at very affordable prices for RENT in a gorgeous original light industrial 1940’s building. Now that ROCKS! We are going to find out more about it for you but for now, click here and visit their site. As we always say when it comes to living in the city –...
We’re Cool Like DAT… another SCOOP!
Do the names LADYBUG, BUTTERFLY or DOODLEBUG mean anything to you? If you’re a real HipHop head and have been along for the ride from the 90’s you would know that those are the names of the absolutely fabulara members of the band DIGABLE PLANETS. They’re peers of classic HipHop bands Arrested Development and US3 – all three of these bands introduced the heads behind Represent to a new st…ye of HipHop in the early 90s that found us wandering into the arms of sweet soulful hiphop never to look back…. If this is the first time you have ever heard of the Digs or even if you are their biggest fan, find out all about them at their MYSPACE post (Have you got yours yet Representers???). Or you can go to their official site by clicking here. Or you can read all about them on this VH1 special. Well according to their website, they will be performing in Johannesburg at one of Represent’s favourite Jozi events – the Arts Alive Jazz Festival at Zoo Lake…. It’s cited to take place on the 2 September and will indeed be held at Zoo Lake…Obviously we will fill you in once we have more information. BUT THAT’s NOT ALL! Digable Planets are billed to perform with the legendary Brian Jackson – a swift fingered pianist and one time musical partner of Gil Scott Heron (“The Revolution will not be televised.”) One of the most famous hits that they created together was “The Bottle”. We are double-blessed Jozi! So yip – it’s a double SCOOP – remember where you heard it first! not only the most chilled HipHoppers known to us but one of the finest funk and jazz musicians alive…two-in-one. ENJOY! Picture is a link to the Digableplanets.org site… taken by Danny...
Dance your way towards SPRING
We love it when we start getting Press Releases for September, it means that SPRING is not far away and you know how we love SPRING. So to encourage us all to look ahead to the gorgeous Spring and Summer Months to come, we thought we’d publish it. We also love the Moving into Dance Company so book your tickets now for SPRING! Civic Theatr…e site. Moving into Dance Site Moving into Dance Mophatong will premiere a new work by Gregory Vuyani Maqoma in the company’s first ever season Flesh at The Johannesburg Civic Theatre later this year. Maqoma’s latest work Flesh is part of a triple bill which also includes Catching the Bird by Sweden’s Marie Brolin-Tani and eMandulo choreographed by Thabo Rapoo. Flesh is inspired by Japanese spirituality, philosophy, rituals and discipline in line with the spiritual healers and prophets of Southern Africa. Stripped of all excess, the work is based on the minimal aspects of unencumbered flesh. Flesh persists, even when transformed after death. Catching the Bird is an abstract piece of choreography inspired by Igor Stravinsky’s two most famous works, the Firebird and Rite of Spring. In it Brolin-Tani has addressed the dichotomy between identifying oneself as part of a group or a culture while still standing alone and taking responsibility for oneself as an individual. As the bird is the image of freedom, and fire is the image of passion, the work depicts the independent, free, passionate soul that is the core of every human being. The Stravinsky music used by the Danish composer Henrik Munch is the base to which he has added in both contemporary and traditional South African music to show how the similarity in the rhythmical complexity stretches worldwide. The scenography designed by Hans-Olof Tani emphasises the atmosphere of searching and the past and current fragility of the internal soul. Brolin-Tani was assisted by is Melody Putu and Belinda Nusser, both South African dancers formerly with the State Theatre Dance Company. Brolin Tani is artistic leader of Skýnes Dansteater, Malmý, Sweden and founder of MBT Dansteater in Denmark. She has produced more than 20 original contemporary dance productions since 1987. Catching the Bird is the result of a Swedish South African cultural collaboration and is supported by the Culture Fund of both governments. The work was premiered in Malmo Sweden in 2005. Thabo Rapoo’s eMandulo explores issues about the importance of the role played by women in traditional society and how that impacts on contemporary living in term of values and morals. For 27 years the trailblazing Moving into Dance Mophatong (MIDM) Company has been presenting a unique contemporary cross-cultural...
Calling all Lovers of Horror Fiction
Big ups to Joe for hooking up this “Citizen horror writing” website… There’s a R1000 prize on offer for the scariest Horror story submitted. Come on Zombie-Lovers…Keep it wicked! Go to the site for more info but FYI the competition ends 30 June. Lovers of Horror fiction will no doubt have noticed that there are few, if any, forums for local writers and artists to display… their work in South Africa. With this in mind InklessMedia Publishing has created Something Wicked, a new quarterly publication showcasing the talents of local writers and artists (in the tradition of such magazine greats as Scary Tales, Cemetery Dance, Weird Tales and CreepShow). Launching Spring 2006, Something Wicked will bring you the best fiction and art from the best new authors and artists. The magazine’s entire content is submission-based, which means the fans and the readers, get to fill the pages with the kind of horror fiction, art and articles they want to read. If you are interested in submitting stories, art, articles or reviews for publishing visit the website and click on Submissions to read our Submission Guidelines and rates. To celebrate the launch we are holding a horror short-story competition with R1000 first prize. Click here to check the website for details....
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