Ladies: STOP F*CKING AROUND
Thanks to Urbanite for this harsh telling it as it is to kick off our 2006. Come on everyone – let’s get it together. Ladies – take a read:
This was what greeted returning holidaymakers dragging their feet back into the golden province of Gauteng on a slow Sunday: Stop F*cking Around! (see even I can’t write it in full!) These eloquent headlines were dotted randomly all over …
the streetpoles loudly welcoming everyone back to the crazy city of Johannesburg: Stop F*cking Around!
My immediate reaction was that it must have been the brazen New Year’s Resolution for 2006 of just about anyone that had as k*k a year as nearly every other citizen in 2005. Sunday being papers-in-bed day, I handed the offending tabloid to the cashier along with the other more respectable suspects, keen to read more. Much to my surprise and then delight, for once the f-word was not being used as if often is, to mean “doing, action, very” etc. This time it was being used in it’s most impactful and explicit meaning: to have sex.
Paging eagerly to the offending column, I was disappointed to discover that the semantics of the article just didn’t touch the attention-grabbing antics of the headlines – it was a fairly subdued and sobre telling off actually. An anti-climax of note.
The article embodied a message from Dr Irvin Khoza, urging all the bling bling young sexy PSL soccer players and specifically Bafana Bafana to take it easy and stop sleeping around or else they wouldn’t live to see the 2010 World Cup Soccer. A classic quote from the article:
“I plead that they stop driving to Southgate Mall (south of Jozi) in their latest sports cars with the sole aim of impressing young girls and eventually having unprotected sex with them.”
The fact is that the HIV/Aids pandemic in our country has long since passed the “softly softly tip-toe” approach, there’s no time to play and we need to cut straight to the chase as far as communication, messaging and language are concerned.
I am no prude, however my feeling is that the discretion of the Sunday Sun newspaper and it’s editorial team must be questioned for crossing an invisible yet respected rule in journalism: not to be vulgar, crude and downright pavement trashy where possible – always maintain a level of decency and journalistic integrity. Right now I can think of quite a few fabulous soft-blow expletives that could have done a very similar job: humping, pomping, sleeping, pimping, shagging etc. WHY did they decide to go with “F*cking” on the front page?
The question must be posed, was this shocking headline used in order to make people take the situation of the HIV/Aids pandemic seriously or was it used to up sales of the newspaper? Probably a bit of both. I have mixed feelings around it, I believe that if shock tactics are required to wake people up and change their attitudes, go for it, however I don’t condone vulgar and crass tabloid tactics with questionable motivations. Where possible use intelligent English.
THE PROBLEM IS, IT’s NOT ONLY THE BAFANA BAFANA SOCCER TEAM THAT SHOULD KNOW BETTER, I KNOW A LOT OF LADIES THAT SHOULD KNOW BETTER TOO. Ladies who should be setting an example to these same young vulnerable girls that don’t know any better.
I am a woman in my late twenties (wink wink) and I have to tell you that what is scary for me is the number of young, educated and very intelligent women, who still have sex without wearing a condom. Maybe have sex is a strong term, put it this way, they meet a guy, fall for him, start seeing him regularly and as soon as some kind of ‘vague’ commitment has been formed and they see each other as their new ‘partner’ they suddenly stop using condoms and ‘trust’ their partner, doing it skin on skin. How foolish. How idiotic. How naýve. How frightening, they really should know better.
In the last year the number of pregnancy-scares I have heard about from ladies enjoying casual dating was frightening – a pregnancy scare means no condom. Many was the time when I wanted to find these women and put my hands on their shoulders and start shaking them if not give them a fat slap for their irresponsible behaviour. They really should know better and sometimes they amaze me with their inability to put their lives first. I know it’s so much easier to go with the flow but come on… and Yes, I have been in a secure, open and honest relationship for a long time, so I can tell you off.
The fact is that many women are still in denial and allowing their selfish sexual needs to overpower their sense of right. The sad thing is that they really ‘trust’ their partners even though they have no idea of their history, no idea of what they get up to when they’re not around and no idea of their sexual status. Many women are still beating around the bush and too ‘nervous’ to ask their men where they have been. Most men are dogs ladies, wake up. (No offence to the good men out there – but you know what i mean hey brothers?)
Yes, it’s very hard to say no sometimes, particularly in the heat of delicious passion, but tell me, if I offered you a chocolate bar and said that it might have some poison in it, would you still eat it? Some women I know would still be stupid enough to hesitate and ask the question “this delicious looking chocolate, with poison in it? I can’t believe it, Let’s give it a bite and see what happens.”
The difference between poisoned chocolate and poisoned men is that your sexual choices don’t involve a bit of poison, they potentially involve a poison so strong that there is no going back to being yourself ever again – they contain life-shaking, breaking and destroying poison that will move you from the have-nots to the haves so quickly that the depression you fall into at the realisation of the stupidity of your choices will sink you into the depths of toxic darkness and hopelessness worse than your worst nightmares.
Ladies, wake up! Start taking responsibility for your life. Stop being selfish. Stop allowing men to persuade you into compromising action. Stop being so gullible. Stop being so weak. Stop being so desperate for love that you take any old crap that comes your way. Stop aiming so low. Stop saying yes when you mean no. Stop treating your body like an invincible machine that you can just abuse to give you a few moments of a sexual high and deal with the consequences later. STOP F*CKING AROUND.
Until you and your man can show each other a recent certificate proclaiming your status, USE A CONDOM.
Until you are so sure that he won” cheat on you that you’re ready to commit to them for a long time, USE A CONDOM. If you have even the slightest doubt in your mind about your man, USE A CONDOM.
Let’s use our brains too ladies, HIV/AIDS is not something ‘out there’, it’s right here, in your beds, in your workplace, in your restaurant, in your club, in your circle of friends, in your home…
If the intelligent, educated and empowered women of Johannesburg cannot make the right choices and act responsibly, it seems that we are losing the fight and the cloud of hopelessness and despair that floats so threateningly over our future may as well sink and engulf us all in it’s choking realities.
Ladies, I ask you: STOP FUCKING AROUND.
