My Jo’burg Stay Away
When I heard that a group of guys I know actually spent the whole of the festive holiday playing Monopoly, I was really intrigued… I mean, yeah you’re home and have nothing to do, mara Molopoly? Anyway, turns out that it’s the new concrete jungle sport, these guys take their boards everywhere… Wierd, but true!
Happy New Year! I sincerely hope that you’re happy to be in the New Year because ready or not you’re in it, whether you’re happy or not or you believe it or not. As for 2006 and all the memories good or bad “can we have amafluit bafwethu?”
I hope that you’ve enjoyed yourselves and at least got to enjoy not going to work or to school for that matter and I hope you packed the stomach with all the food and drink that was on offer, which has become synonymous with the festive season. At least that’s what consoled the rest of us who stayed in Jo’burg on chill mode.
With all the preparations that I’d made for the December holidays with my boys, my staying in Jo’burg over December was not the plan and it sort of reminded me of when I was still at school. The holidays begin and you have to look forward to staying at home. Broke, and in the dusty streets of Soweto, you knew that you were in for some major boredom, dust, alcoholics and watching chicks that spend their holidays in the front seat of some playas car. So come summer 2006, I’m older, more resourceful, more cash and single with an Audi A3 with an empty front seat (know what I mean), one kinda had the feeling that I had to live up to some playalistic expectations that have been made constitution by MTV HIP POP urban culture.
After our Cape Town plans fell through due to spending R12 000 on getting the car ready, paying debts and sundries, it just became practical to spend the rest of the R3000 in Jo’burg instead of going to Cape Town to become a bergie in the name of sticking to plan A.
Fair enough December started with a bang, last minute jobs that’ll pay in February, free parties, beautiful weather with afternoon rain. It’s amazing how people behave when December rolls around. It’s like we all behave like school kids who’ve finished their exams and they’re just waiting to GO. And that’s just what happened. People went. It was so evident. It’s actually scary. Jo’burg doesn’t look normal empty.
Imagine driving on the M1 South from Woodmead to the CBD at 100km/h at 16H55 and getting there in ten minutes? Think of the pleasure of driving from Sunninghill to Fourways on Witkoppen at 17H00 and you don’t wait an hour between Rivonia Rd and Main Rd. I guess that’s how 96 and Montecasino became so popular. People stopped for one drink, thought about the traffic and they never went home!
You begin to wonder when it’s so empty as to who the real Joburgers are and who is going “home”. It reminded me of some stats that I read; did you know that between 2001 and 2006, the population in Gauteng rocketed to 2million people? Where do all these people come from? Whatever happened to Jo’burg for Jo’burgers? I definitely felt the city breathing.
It was beautiful and mostly refreshing on some WHEW! Good riddance. It rained almost everyday. It felt like the city was stretching, the way one does when one wakes up or gets out of a car during a long journey to get the circulation flowing again. It was actually quite spiritual to be there when the city refreshed itself and I was part of that stretching out.
My boy pointed it out to me and I was like “Yeaaah, that’s it”. It was so weird because when I looked around, the streets were empty, the pavements were empty, guys chilling for piece jobs weren’t there, the beggars and traffic light hustlers weren’t there, the taxi ranks were empty, the restaurants were empty, the shopping malls after Xmas were empty and of course there was no traffic meaning that the roads were empty. It even got to a point where the shelves in supermarkets were empty, people left with the food! If I was in retail I’d close shop after Xmas till New Years Eve it’s just too depressing.
So all that was left for us to do, was to chill and enjoy our space, I realized that Jo’burg is not a stressful town, it’s the people that come here and stress it.
So we adapted to chilling. We hooked up braais, went to parks, visited peeps at their houses and kept it really holiday mode. One was able to rock sandals, shorts, t- shirts or shirt wit a cap all day all night. The greatest revelation of December ’06 was the kasi vibes and Monopoly. Yes, Monopoly the game where you collect R200 when you pass begin! Through chilling and playing Monopoly, I got to meet new, interesting and fun people who are circumventing the city like me and therefore never get to meet so that was cool.
Kasi was really on ruckus mode with the usual kids in packs packing the streets out to capacity. The kasi swimming pool kept the youth cool and refreshed with the proverbial urinating in the pool and mock drownings. It seemed to me that the best place to be was at home really making your own vibes and kicking it with peeps you want. That’s actually where and how the Monopoly revelation came about and mark my words; 2007 is going to see a lot of people going back to Monopoly or playing it again at least once because the coolest people you know are doing it.
We would get to a party and set it up and before long the dopest hunnies as well as the pink shirt LV cap sunglasses at night wearing, Hennesy bottle holding guys were all up in our space trying to see what it was that attracted so much of our attention spans. So when you see the ‘Monops’ setup (as it is now affectionately known as) at any venue be it a braai or a house party or in the back of the club wreckonize and pay your respects! Come and join us and we’ll help you, through playing; to get a good retrospective on life and your relationship with money.
It was so cool seeing how people reacted to Monops. If you’re into trying something new for the New Year this is definitely it. After having a very tranquil New Years Dy party setting off firecrackers and bombs in the car park and getting chased around by a security guard who just wanted zol, it was a relief to take it easy laid back ala Cape Town mode. The only thing that was really hectic was the summer anthem “Sister Betina” bumping everywhere and from just about every car in the hood, that was also pretty cool though.
What’s even more cool is that I got to rest and recap on the year whilst my mind was on my money and my money on my mind. You know you’re a volle Jo’burger when you play money games during the holidays to relax. Thanks Monopoly!
So getting back to the office in January 2007 to a new client with a big budget only adds to the truth, and I’m not superstitious. The truth is that we plan but Allah is the best planner with the best plan for all of us who recognize.
So how was Jo’burg? Cool and refreshing. I wish it could stay that way, but that’s a wish so allow me to indulge. I miss my empty Jo’burg. Why must I wait till December though? People must go away more so that I can stay away more. Next Summer I’m definitely keeping it Jo’burg. At least I’ll have money in January. “Holla black!”
Joe Burger
