New Year and the 2008 bonsai resolutions
Ok, so it’s the last day of the first month of 2008. How are your resolutions going? We hope you’ve thrown them out the window or that you never had any in the first place? And to those of you who have gallantly stuck to them, bully to you big boots. Either way, take some comfort in the fact that most of us out here are fallible – errant, imperfect, human. Some of us accepted a long time ago that life is a real beyatch. Others are still in denial.
On the bright side many of us are quite maleable and feisty: easy to adapt, ducking and diving, taking the blows, repositioning ourselves for the next round, fitting in here, readjusting there, getting on with it, pushing through, throwing out what we don’t want and trying to focus on what makes us feel good and happy. For isn’t that the point? To be happy. [Ed: See Below.]
Or is there more? Suddenly some of us grow up, get dragged through an existential crisis backwards and realise that looks, materialism and the acquisition of more, bigger & better is just a passing high – that trying to outdo, show up or suppress is simply short-sighted and sad and that it’s just not possible to be happy all day or everyday. And then we ask ourselves what the point is anyway. And therein lies the big question. [Ed: And please DON’T MENTION “THE SECRET”. EVER.]
We’ve given up scratching our heads at Represent and have thrown caution to the wind with the hope that love, laughter, the occasional big brawling night out entertained by the incredibly crazy and lekker chomees we have around us will get us through. Maybe. We asked our friend Dawn for her thoughts on New Years Resolutions. We like her thinking!:
The Vision…
2008: a new year. Positive affirmations. Start afresh. Visualise your goals. Seize the day. Create your destiny. Think big. Push boundaries. Set new limits. Manifest success. Happiness. Strength. Authenticity. Wealth. Realise your dreams.
Such lovely, positive phrases. The foundation of your New Year’s resolutions, the DNA of modern culture and business. The Secret. The Key to the Winner’s Circle.
Strong inspiring words, all so nice to read (especially in a pretty font – personally, I recommend Tahoma, size 12. The shapes are soothing, and you won’t need to squint).
The resolutions begin to form…
Your heart and mind leap in response: of course! This is what you need…the Big Idea! Change yourself and your life. Join the ranks of the rich/famous/successful/enlightened/wise/thin/calm/hairy/notorious.
Cue rampaging orchestral emotions, and the noble feeling of bold decision-making. It’s the New Year, and you’re going to make Grand Changes. Nerves calmed and resolve steeled, you buy the book, you watch the video, you pay the joining fee, you write the list. Bold words sounding remarkably like common sense are curdled into New Years resolutions by adding an inspiring vision of the future. You’re committed, you have Goals. Think positive, and win. You start tomorrow.
Reality spoils the dream…
Instantly the future days arrive in packs…no more single file. Furious hordes of busy tasks and random pressures multiply. Life becomes a struggle against every natural instinct. Your sense of humour is the first casualty. You become cursed with anxiety and irritation. When does one actually get the time to focus on the tasks of improvement?
Each setback triggers self-blame, anger and hopelessness. Exactly the opposite of what you’re trying to achieve. Your negative thinking is confirmed by the universe: bills, invoices and maxed-out credit cards become due for payment between mid-January and March. You somehow gain weight. You fall asleep in yoga class. You fail your performance review. You miss the 5th language class in a row, because you had no time to do your homework.
People start asking how your resolutions are going.
You loathe the book, you’re always hungry, you’re worried, you need your money back, you hate it that you hated your old, comfortable self, and you hate hating that hate. You hate that you’ll never reach Diamond Secateur level, and you hate it that yet again Sammy from Sales gets to wear the Medallion of Achievement. You hate the professional Winners who stare out at you from magazine racks: themed boasts, every Winner coated in generic success sprinkle (they all look the same – same tilt of the head, same smirk, same gloating eyes). Winners everywhere: business, politics, media and size zero versions. And not-You.
OK, enough of the negative spiral of failure. It’s time to think positive; so you decide that next year, you’ll try again (again). Try harder, try more, try better. Each year, the same traditional drill.
It’s madness…
The concept that everyone can and should positively think their way to success: it’s a lie. What substance is there to these cure-all inspiration ideas? Who invented this mercilessly pseudo-cheerful stuff? Who said these are the answers to life’s “challenges”?
Oh dear, it was the humans. It’s exhausting. Nothing but self-help porn. Vulgar DIY life-skills.
But why?
Bad news, dear readers: unfortunately the fantasy of achieving success through willpower and happy thoughts will not easily be destroyed. Some people actually manage to do it (making the rest think this is normal).
However, the main reason is that people have become addicted to improving everything. It helps them to not think about what they are trying to improve. New Year’s resolutions exist mainly to stop humans thinking about how come they get to do yet another round. And to get one up on their fellow-human. Or laugh, to see the fellow-human fail, collapse, give up or lose. This is the only true pleasure (achieving one’s own goals is not pleasure. It simply ends the torture for a while).
What to do, to make this cycle of fantasy bearable and workable?
Time to upgrade the New Year resolution!
First, apply scientific analysis. Then, the exquisite Japanese art of Bonsai.
The problem is one of scale. Self-improvement has gone global. Bloated, ugly and too big to be meaningful It’s like fast food – the portions are simply too large. People become obesely inflated with ideals, and that’s not healthy. Maximising your potential requires huge helpings of self-absorption, criticism, and gigantic ambition. The great goals to be achieved fill up your life, cost a lot and are mostly unsustainable. Except of course for those large, mortifying annual failures..humiliating and expensive, unless you’re a hedge fund manager – they get bonuses for these.
Bonsai your dreams…they’ll be so much more beautiful.
An instant, user-friendly, workable and stylish solution: re-size all your goals for 2008.
This radical and innovative idea will change your year. 2008 will become 200-and-great!
Use the techniques of Bonsai to cut those pesky resolutions to a manageable size. Careful trimming reduces volume, while maintaining scale, form and function.
The world is moving toward nano-technology, micro-everything, simplicity, minimalism…be part of this sophisticated trend, by shrinking ambitions. Instantly they become easier to achieve. They take up less space in the mind – no clutter. They look evolved, sleek, usable. They match exisiting thoughts and lifestyles. Plug-and-play format, accessible to the most basic user.
Any failures are easily recycled, eliminating unsightly litter and messy negative emotions.
Some examples of miniature resolutions (Old goals are the heading, underlined. New goals underneath):
Seize the day
Nah…so much strain, so early in the morning. A stress on the body.
Preferably start slowly: seize one minute of a particular day. A day that you really like. Be creative: use 30 seconds out of one minute, and 30 seconds out of the next. Make it yours!
Create your destiny!
Far too presumptuous. Rather spend your one seized minute, thinking about one possible destiny you could achieve if you wanted. Or, when out for a walk, decide spontaneously to turn left instead of right. Incredible: that such a small action can result in a complete change of direction.
Think big
Why such pressure?! For a change, decide to make two or three tiny, perfect little plans. They can be similar, or completely different from one another. Group your plans into tiny themes…so elegant.
Small really is the new big.
Push boundaries
Aim instead to contemplate and savour the luxury of any comfort zone you may be lucky enough to have.
Set new limits
Doomed to fail, with the pace of modern life. Rather choose just one old one, and take the whole year to live within it. Bet you never did that before…
Strive for success
Eliminate this corporate pseudo-speak: decide instead to do one person a small favour, once a month. Reduce the size of the favour each month. So you will succeed – through small things.
Happiness
Too vague. Decide instead to smile at something you like, some time within the next week. Just smile, no need to actually feel anything…easy to do, and another goal accomplished. In no time at all, you become confident. Life takes on the correct perspective.
Free yourself from the tyranny of achievement: re-size your resolutions.
Make 2008 into 2008…compact, efficient, and do-able: the most bearable year of your life.
